


Beach holiday

by Nanami_Michiko



Series: Beach holiday [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boy Melodrama "BM" Scene (Supernatural), Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Dean Coming Out, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Feel-good, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Saileen - Freeform, airbnb, beach holiday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23657509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanami_Michiko/pseuds/Nanami_Michiko
Summary: After finally defeating God and the Empty, they all go on to their first real beach vacation trip. Dean, finally free of all his burden, tries find out what Sam would think, if he'd plan a future with Cas.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: Beach holiday [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120805
Comments: 14
Kudos: 164





	1. Beach holiday

**Author's Note:**

> Saw this post on Tumblr a while ago where someone describe a scene where Dean would finally (but very subtle) come out to Sam and I tried to write it out. Unfortunatly I can't find this post anymore (but I will link it here when I do).
> 
> The second chapter is just a result of curious me asking how the story will proceed. I feel like barely took an active part in writing it. I just kept writing with the flow without overthinking or changing a thing and this is the result.

It was their first real vacation.

Since they had defeated God and the Empty, they all had been in a real good mood and finally, had been planning the holiday Dean had in mind for years.

Taking a timeout- no jobs, no cases, no responsibilities.

Dean did not tell anyone how excited he really was about his first trip to the beach.

„First time I get to wear shorts. “He had told Sam back at the bunker with a grin.

„I thought you don’t do shorts in public.“

„Well, now I will. Better times Sammy, better times. “ Then he had patted his brother on the back and vanished to his room to pack his stuff.

They had been driving down the Pacific coast until somewhere near San Diego, where it would be warm and sunny this time of the year.

Eileen had talked them into an Airbnb instead of a classic motel. „We can cook there for ourselves and have more space and privacy. Plus, I know this nice little house, that’s directly by the beach. “

To be fair, she didn’t need much persuasive power to convince them, as they were all very tired of shitty and narrow motel rooms. It was a tiny but cute house, though. Two floors. The first just one big room, that functioned as kitchen and living room. And the second: Two master bedrooms and a shared bathroom. It was enough for them. And it was also well furnished - bright and cozy.

Obviously, Sam and Eileen wanted to share a room and since Castiel didn’t sleep and Dean knew he liked to watch TV at nights, he had happily unfurled his stuff in the second one. But of course Castiel could use it anytime he wanted, Dean didn’t mind (anymore). Maybe to use the nice little balcony from where they had a beautiful view over the beach and the ocean.

Sam and Dean preferred the porch downstairs for their first afternoon here. It had direct access to the beach and Dean couldn’t wait to feel the sand between his toes or take a swim in the ocean tomorrow or even try a fresh coconut and mix it with some fancy alcohol.

They had suited themselves in two old and comfortable wooden chairs, with some leftover beers of the trunk, while Castiel and Eileen had been heading out for a supply run - because Sam and Dean had been driving in turns without a stop, except for gas and now „deserved a break“.

They didn’t talk much, while they enjoyed the last warming rays of sunshine of the day. It was a quiet beach, but there were still some kids playing and laughing in the distance.

With a pleased smile Dean watched them. It was a beautiful picture, two girls building a sandcastle and a boy throwing sticks to a dog to practice the retrieval, the sky slowly becoming a mix of orange and purple. He came aware of how he hadn’t been as peaceful and calm as he was now in forever.

He drank his beer with relish.

“Man, I already feel like this will be our new tradition. Imagine coming back here, once a year. Everybody together. You and Eileen with your kids and your dog", his mouth gushed out, before his brain had any time to think.

Sam chuckled in amusement, “Yeah.”

“You deserve it…”, Dean said and nodded a few times in approval to his own words and drank another sip of his beer.

He was not exactly sure, where it came from or where he wanted to go with his next words, but there was a sudden, undefined urge in his gut. Like he wanted to clarify something to Sam he hadn’t really figured out himself by now (This one tiny knot he still used to carry around above all the happiness. The one he should have untangled already a long time ago.)

“It’ll be crowded in there, though. Guess I’ll just crack on Baby's backseat at nights.”

Sam seemed a bit confused. “What? You wanna sleep in the car? You want _me_ to have this? -…”

He pointed over to the scenery (the family) in front of them (The parents had appeared and got their kids dressed up to leave the beach. “ _just five more minutes_ ”, “ _it’s late_ ", “ _we’ll come back tomorrow_ ”, “ _did you get a sunburn there_?”, “ _Come here, buddy_!”)

“…-But you don’t want this for yourself anymore?”

Dean moved his head, as if he was still weighing his options. “Nah”, he said eventually, “I’ve tried that. I’m- It’s different now.”

“It is?"

“You know... I guess I’ll just never stop hunting. There’ll still be creepy stuff around…” His thumb started to scratch the label of the bottle. He wasn’t really paying attention to it, but it helped to get his sudden jittery body under control. “…I-… you know, I guess I'd just hunt with Cas.”

“Yeah, good-…” Sam cleared his throat and straightened a bit in his chair and now observed Dean more attentively from the side “…-I know.”

Dean ignored him and kept staring into the sunset. Sam could spare this knowing smartass tone in his voice.

They fell back into silence again.

After a few moments Sam turned away from his staring and sighed almost silently, as if he had given up the hope Dean would say more. Or maybe the topic was just done for him. But inside Dean it still kept working. He felt like Sam got it, but he had to make sure. Just because he couldn’t stand this conversation a second time. He already felt stupid enough right now. He chewed on his tongue as if to form the words in his mouth properly.

He dared a quick glance over to his brother, before he set his jaw and leaned forward. He was still fidgeting with the beer in his hands and his eyes now concentrating on the bottleneck.

“So, it would be okay for you if I-…” He bit his lip and let one hand slide through the air, “…-Y’ know… _hunted_ with Cas?” It didn’t came out as nonchalant as he had originally intended to. But at least he would get it.

From the corner of his eye he saw Sam’s expression shift. “Of course, Dean! You know I just want you to be happy, right?”

Dean continued to withstand to look at him, because even less than the tone in his voice, he could bear his stupid puppy face appear as if he felt pity for him.

But somehow, he felt relieved and the knot already smaller. And he smiled a little while he mumbled an “I know" into his bottle, his head still lowered.

“Look, I don’t care whatever- whoever-…”

“Yeah… yeah! I know!” He interrupted him hastily before it would get all too embarrassing.

“…as long as you’re happy", Sam offered a second time.

“Okay, that’s good to know, man…”

A brief unpleasant silence fell over them. Like they both still wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to. That’s when they both got lost in their own thoughts for a moment.

Sam cleared his throat again. “As long as you don’t give my kids any weapons, everything’s fine.” He tried for funny and Dean was thankful for that.

With a scornful snort Dean grinned at his brother full of regained confidence, “…‘F COURSE I will! I'd be the cool uncle. Showing them cool tricks ‘n stuff.” He chuckled “The one, that’s always drunk and embarrassing at gatherings. _Cas_ can be the dorky one, though. With self-made candy from his bee farm or somethin’...”

“Yeah, yeah I don’t know what else I'd expect.” Sam offered to toast with his bottle, which Dean gladly accepted.

The clink of the bottle was simultaneously accompanied by some noises from the kitchen. Eileen and Cas must have been back.

“C’me on, Sammy! Let’s see what we’ll have for dinner!” Dean hopped out of his chair in joyful anticipation for food. He tousled his brother’s hair on his way inside. Sam shook his head with an amused smile, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon for a second until he got up and followed his brother inside.


	2. Sound of the waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is just a result of curious me asking how the story will proceed. I feel like I barely took an active part in writing it. I just kept writing with the flow without overthinking or changing a thing and this is the result.

Castiel and Eileen indeed were in the kitchen.

“Hello, Dean. How is it outside?”, Castiel asked and stopped unpacking the groceries.

“…’S good.” He answered and smiled at him until Sam came in.

His eyes flickered over him. He looked good in his old clothes. Briefly Cas's coat crossed his mind, that now laid (perfectly folded) on one side of his bed in the bunker. He had forced him to leave it behind for the holiday, because „Come on Cas, leave the damn coat! You will look like a pedophile at the beach. Take some of my stuff. It’s time for you to change into something lighter.”

And then. “I'm an Angel. I can’t change into anything lighter.”

Dean had rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well than leave your meat suit as well. We'll go to a nudist beach. Come as you are!” And then he had grabbed him to pick a more appropriate outfit for the beach.

Cas was not a broad as Dean and the old T-shirt, he once stole at a concert when he was 20, suited him perfectly. In addition, an old worn out blue jeans with fringed legs. Dean liked it.

Also Cas already seemed to acquire a liking for walking barefooted, as he didn’t wore any shoes nor socks. And for a second everything felt somehow so familiar, he just wanted to lean over and kiss Cas as Sam did with Eileen in the exact same moment.

They spent a fun and harmonic evening, though. With good food, beers and playing mouse trap, because even in your forties it was still fun. They went to bed early because they were all pretty smashed from the outward bound and wanted to go to the beach in the morning, when the water would be higher.

Dean was not sure, what had woken him in the middle of the night. It must’ve been the moon, that brightly illuminated his room. By now he was already so used to sleep in his darkened room in the bunker, that the light felt strange.

He got up and cast aside the white, light curtains. It was almost full moon. He stood there for a while in awe of the shimmering ups and downs of the waves. It was beautiful.

He didn’t know for how long he stood there until he noticed the raging thirst in his throat. He would get a glass of water and then open the door to sleep with the sounds of the waves.

He was still thinking about the ocean, when he came downstairs. Different, than expected, the TV was turned off. Castiel was standing still by the window, starring into the night sky, exactly like he did a minute ago. He quietly took a glass of water and walked the few steps to stand beside him. They watched the night together, while Dean drank his water.

“Isn’t it still beautiful after all these centuries?” Cas asked almost whispering, his lips curved into a smile.

“It is.” Dean answered reassuringly in a low voice. His eyes flickered outside for a second and back holding onto Cas’s appearance. “Of course, we lost some beautiful stars over the years, but others were born instead.”

Bathed in the moonlight his skin looked almost translucent, like he was going to merge with the moon. Dean wanted to touch him, but he seemed so fragile that he had the impression he could almost see his true form. Dean didn’t know how he could feel so overwhelmed by something.

He felt nervous and a bit shaky as he prepared to say his next words. Castiel must heard his heart pounding loud in his chest. But it didn’t matter. “Listen, why don’t come upstairs with me, we can watch the sky under a nice ‘n cozy blanket. And we could leave the door open and listen to the sound of the waves.”

Castiel didn’t answer or even look at him. Dean wasn’t even sure if he heard him.

He felt really stupid. Standing there, all his guards down, barefoot, in his boxers and his T-shirt, just a water in his hand.

This was the moment he tried to untie the last knot to his past. The one that was his biggest desire, but also his biggest fear. The one to finally be the person _he_ wanted to be. Not his father, not God, not anyone but he himself.

And now his words hovered between them, loud and heavy and he couldn’t take them back. That’s why he never said them before, because Castiel was an Angel and didn’t feel things like a human. And Dean was so stupid to even ask those things. And he was so stupid because he didn’t want anything else from his life, then cuddling under a fucking blanket with this stupid Angel in front of him. But he never, ever got what he wanted. Bold to assume it would happen this one time.

“Okay…I’m sorry I asked that… I don’t know what came over me… Just forget it… I’m not really-…”

“Are you sure you really want this, Dean?” Cas calmly drowned out Dean’s jabbering.

Their eyes met and Dean saw Cas searching for something in his face. His eyes were clear and sparkling but there was a little frown. Even perhaps he was just insecure, too?

They searched in each other’s faces for some sort of certainty. Finally, Dean broke it with a slight lopsided smile and an honest nod. “Yes.” He whispered.

“Then yes. I would love to come with you.” Castiel smiled.

“Okay. Good.” They broke the tension with a little embarrassed giggle. Dean licked his lips. “Come on.” He took his hand. They both looked down on their tangled hands before smiling at each other again.

Dean took Castiel upstairs.

It was a little awkward at first. Dean had opened the door and the fresh air started to fill the room. He took a deep breath and then laid down under his blanket. Castiel still standing around, unsure.

“Take your jeans of and come here.” He stopped himself from a smutty grin and instead lifted the blanket a bit as an invitation.

Cas did as told and laid down besides Dean. Their legs got tangled almost automatically. Dean chuckled a bit embarrassed, his heart still pounding heavy. But the awkward tension passed as they found each other’s eyes.

They stared at each other in the pale moonlight. Dean watched Cas’ familiar face and wanted nothing more, but to touch his skin. He reached out hand to stroke softly over Cas’ cheek. It felt soft and solid and very human, not what the light made pretend. He was curious if Cas perceived touches the same way he did. But he could ask him that another time. “I’m glad you’re here.” He whispered instead. Castiel smiled, he seemed to enjoy the touch.

He really, really wanted to kiss him. But he would save it for the morning. When Castiel was still there under the warm blanket. A fresh and salty ocean breeze through the door, that made the curtains flutter. And he could be really sure, that this wasn’t just a dream but real.

Instead his hand wandered down Cas’ shoulder, down his arm (he had really soft tiny hair) and took is hand. He turned to the side, pulling his arm with him now facing the window and the moon. Cas' body finally pressed against his own. It felt good. It felt like it was just supposed to be like this. It felt real.

They stayed still. It was weird that Cas didn’t breathe, but the steady sound of the waves gave Dean almost the impression he was.

“It ‘soothing.” Castiel said.

“Mhhhm", Dean answered sleepily, squeezing Cas’ arm a bit tighter to his chest. “It is.” He murmured. “Good night, Cas.”

“Sleep well, Dean. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And that was all he needed to hear.


End file.
